Lesson Number Three: Don’t let Anyone Hold you Back

People are always going to try and keep your down. It’s a sad, but true, fact of life. Unfortunately, many people find their confidence and “feel-goods” by making others feel inadequate. Most psychologists revere to these people as self-righteous.

While people may never stop trying, it doesn’t mean you should constantly live in doubt of yourself. Throughout my college career, I’ve had many people tell me I couldn’t. My freshman year one of my neighbors in the dorm told me I wouldn’t be able to get an A in our math class. Guess what? I got a 95 percent, he got a 88. Junior year one of my peers laughed when I told her I wanted to take three different internships before I graduated. I’ve had two to date and am currently looking for a third. These are just samples of the many times I’ve been told I couldn’t do something throughout my college career. Had I let there negativity put me down, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I’d be someone doing the bare  minimum in fear of failing.

It’s not just others that can hold you back, you can too.

Comparing yourself to others never gets you anywhere. 

It’s true. No good can come from it. You either a, feel better about yourself at someone else’s expense or b, see yourself in a negative light because you don’t stack up. It may seem like a hard habit to kick, but there are many healthy ways you can put at end to your daily competition with your peers. Remember: you are your own person. You can’t compare yourself to anyone else because, well, they aren’t you! By comparing yourself to others, you’re setting yourself for failure. You’re either going to feel inadequate or become someone who puts others down to gain confidence. Steer clear, my friends.

Lesson: Channel the negativity 

“life is like photography. You use the negatives to develop.” – anonymous. I couldn’t think of a better quote to summarize this lesson. You have to use their negativity to, pardon my language, put a fire under your ass. Don’t sit there and let their negative words shape your future. Don’t let them be right. Words are words, that’s all they are. While they may sting at first, their long term damage is minimal at best. In conclusion, whether the negativity comes from within or from the words of others, it doesn’t mean a thing. You have one life to live, don’t let others live it for you.

Suggested readings: 

“Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life” by Judith Orloff

Blog: Stop Letting Others Bring you Down to their Level 

“Secrets of Spiritual Happiness” by Sharon Janis. View online. 

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2 thoughts on “Lesson Number Three: Don’t let Anyone Hold you Back

  1. I found this post very relatable. I, too, have come across these kind of people in my college career. Like many college students, in my early days, some of the things people would really get me down. As an individual new to college (first one to go in my family) my motivation, schoolwork, and basicially every other aspect of the life were affected. It’s sad, I have even heard comments from teachers, professors, and fellow students in my major.

    Now that I am older, and graduate in May, I have learned to take what the naysayers say with a grain of salt. They don’t know what you are, or are not capable of, only you do. Since I have formed this new attitude on college life a few years back, college has been a very rewarding, enriching experience. I have accomplished quite a bit in my years, and have done things I would have never dreamed of doing in high school. For example, my grades are ALOT better now. I never really got above a 3.0 in highschool, and my early college years. This past summer semester I got a 3.7. Is it the best? no, but to your point of not comparing yourself to others, it’s the best I have ever done, and I was proud of myself. An example of this in my social life, I got involved on campus, and even helped start a fraternity on campus.

    As you wrote, there are always going to be people trying to bring you down, because it somehow makes them feel better about themselves. My advice to all college students, new and old to not let them get to you. If someone tells you you can’t do something, go out there and prove them wrong! Make them eat their own words.
    In conclusion, I’ve found it helpful to surround yourself with supportive, caring people. It is a very important to have a support system away from home. when you have a bad day, they can help keep you motivated, and pick you up when you fall down.

  2. Listening to negativity is almost always a bad thing. Once in a while however, it can make you stronger. Listening to what others think you can not do, makes you try harder and push through obstacles in your way to prove them wrong. The negativity can be a strong motivating factor, only if your personality will not take it personally. You have to know yourself, and know if it will motivate or destroy your ambition to achieve what they told you, you can’t.

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